Survivors

Traci 

Traci (b. 1968) is an American actress, singer and author. She has appeared in numerous films and television shows and had a previous career in the adult entertainment industry. She makes frequent public appearances at seminars and discussions of child sexual abuse and is an outspoken critic of the adult entertainment industry.

Traci was born in Ohio to a father who had a substance abuse addiction and a mother who unwittingly enabled the emotionally and verbally abusive behavior. She was raised in a lower middle class environment where she developed close interpersonal relationships with her three sisters, but was never able to bond emotionally with her father.

Period of abuse

At age 10 an older male friend whom she considered her boyfriend suggested that they play a game he called “marriage”. He explained that married couples have sex and proceeded to sexually assault her. The resulting confusion and feelings of guilt and diminished self-worth are typical among abused children who are too young to understand what is happening or why someone they trust would willingly hurt them. When she returned home, her alcoholic father knew what had happened, either through external indications or by some other means, and verbally abused her before physically abusing her mother.

At age 12 her mother fled her abusive father, taking Traci and her three sisters to California. There the trauma of sexual and emotional abuse manifested itself in increased sexual promiscuity and drug abuse. She had a number of promiscuous relationships, including at least one with one of her mother’s significantly older boyfriends.

At age 15 she became pregnant from a casual sexual encounter and had a subsequent abortion, followed by a nervous psychological collapse. She then left home and lived with one of her mother’s former boyfriends in the confines of an inappropriate sexual relationship. He exploited her sexually for his own personal financial gain by encouraging her to model for adult publications, despite the fact that she was still well below the legal age of consent. He solicited work for her by promising adult producers and publishers that she would grant them sexual favors in return for adult modeling work. Using illegally altered identification that indicated she was age 22 she was able to model for adult publications, including several internationally known men’s magazines.

By age 16 she had gained success as an adult model and was in demand thoroughout the adult entertainment industry. She soon appeared in her first adult pornographic film where she performed sexual acts with adult male performers. Her young appearance and active promiscuity made her increasingly popular and she won numerous industry awards. She perfomed sexual acts in approximately 100 adult pornographic films before her eighteenth birthday. She was arguably the most popular adult actress of her time well before she was legally an adult.

At age 19 federal investigators discovered that she had appeared in pornographic material while still a minor. She and executives at several adult production companies were detained on criminal charges that included the manufacture and distribution of child pornography. Federal attorneys declined to prosecute Traci since she was legally unable to give informed consent to the manufacture of pornography or to engage in sexual acts. Several executives and producers were prosecuted and the federal attorney’s office launched an aggressive investigation into the many actors, producers, agencies and production companies she had worked with as well as the adult entertainment industry as a whole. Many producers and other performers testified in court and via affidavit that they were unaware of her correct legal age. Speculation as to what was known by whom continues to this day, although all legal affairs have since been resolved. Traci was sexually promiscuous, but it is unlikely that all involved believed that a 15-year-old child was in reality age 22. Those who profited financially from the sales of her adult films were far more likely interested in their own personal gain than her psychological well-being.

Federal attorneys investigated allegations that she was given illegal narcotics and forced to perform sexual acts against her will, but found no evidence to reach this conclusion. Whether she was forced to engage in sexual acts or she did so willingly, she was a minor and not legally able to consent. The overwhelming conclusion is that she was sexually exploited and manipulated by adults. Their knowledge or lack of knowledge with respect to her correct legal age does not diminish the psychological and emotional trauma inflicted upon her. The overwhelming majority of persons worldwide who traffic and sexually exploit children do so for financial gain rather than personal sexual gratification.

It has been suggested that Traci herself alerted federal investigators to her legal status with the intention of increasing sales of the single adult film she made legally. It is the only film she owns the rights to and became highly profitable when her illegal films were no longer commercially available. There is no conclusive evidence to support this theory, but with it and the prior long-term incidents of illegally altered identification and deception, she was no longer accepted in her chosen community.

The subsequent effects of the investigations and prosecutions compelled the adult entertainment industry to make significant and lasting changes with regards to verification of any performer’s legal status. It also ended Traci’s career in the adult entertainment industry. She is currently known more for the criminal investigation that restructured her former industry than she is for any actual contributions to said industry.

Therapy and subsequent results

At age 18 Traci began to study acting at the Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute. She also began to receive psychological therapy and educated herself with regards to the effects and aftermath of child sexual abuse. It is recommended that all survivors undergo psychological counseling to help them understand their feelings of guilt and diminished self-worth.

In 1990 she began acting in legitimate motion pictures and was soon a popular addition on numerous television shows. In 1993 she began a new career as a singer, first as a member of a band and later as a solo performer. She often appeared in promotional music videos that accompanied commercially released songs. In 1995 she released her first solo album. It was widely successful on national dance charts and among club audiences. As she grew more confident in her musical abilities she began to explore themes of child abuse in her music. The sexual exploitation of her past was well known, but it was not until this time that she began to discuss it publicly.

While the psychological trauma and subsequent sexual promiscuity are obvious in this case, and have even reached a level of cultural notoriety, the accompanying drug and alcohol addiction cannot be ignored. Traci was physically and psychologically addicted to illegal narcotics and alcohol throughout most of her adolescence and much of her adult years. She ceased all alcohol intake by 1998 and was finally free of her drug addiction by 2000.

Current activities

In 2003 she wrote her autobiography, which detailed much of her child sexual abuse and the emotional and psychological impact therein. It quickly became a national bestseller. Later that year she directed her first film. It explored the themes of child sexual abuse and the subsequent feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred. In 2004 she released a new album of music.

Today Traci has a successful acting and music career. She is married to her third husband and has one daughter.





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